We are busy preparing for our upcoming move back to Germany, which is in exactly 47 days, as the calendar tells me. The house is in disarray as we pack and repack boxes, sell off our furniture while figuring out how to live the next six weeks with what we have left, and tick things off our to-do list, which seems like a never ending task.
You'd think we would be used to this by now, and in some ways we are. We're certainly not stressing out so much about it the way we used to. The movers are sorted, our flight tickets booked, temporary accomodation have been organised for our last few days in Auckland, and so far the selling of our furniture is going pretty well. Nevertheless it IS harder this time around, simply because we have two little children to work around. While The Husband and I can make do without a lot of things, the kids unfortunately can't, which makes organising this next, and hopefully last move a lot more complicated.
What keeps me going is the anticipation of what lies ahead. While there are still moments of nervousness and uncertainties, there is an underlying excitement and a hope for our new lives in Germany. We don't know where we will end up living or what jobs we will have. We have more questions than answers at this point. And yet I love that we're starting over with a clean slate. I love this tabula rasa, this not knowing, which also means that anything is possible.
Life has taken me to many unexpected places and on many unexpected journeys. Last year I thought I'd scrapped the bottom of the barrel. Nothing was going the way I'd planned and the days never seemed so dark and long and hopeless.
And yet, a new day always comes. And if you can pick yourself back up and just keep moving, chances are you'll turn the corner and out of nowhere a door opens, a new possibility, a new journey, a new hope.
I'm starting this year with hope. Sometimes that's the best you can do.